Hope is a murderer, it kills you slowly, savoring every moment of your death, as your lips stretch for your euphoric smile. Hope has the power to show the best future you have ever dreamt of, yet it comes to stab you in your back everytime you believe in it.
Why can't I stop it? Why I keep on hoping when I know it would only break me to peices? Why I keep on expecting things to happen while I know it would only suck up all my will to live?
Hope...They said is what you will need to overcome any stuggle, but how can I hope without expecting, hope seems like a hidden monster trapped within me, inside my mind, locked forever.
I have tried to tame that monster, keep it at its cage, calm it, treat it, but it always comes to me when I am alone, it comes to me running with its open mouth, it devours me, it eats my flesh and drinks my blood, it leaves me...lifeless.
How could a tought be that powerful and abusive to its owner? When will I stop the self-sabotage as I like to call? Those damaging thoughts have become my only "friends", I sleep with them and I wake up next to them, I can always count on them to worsen my world .
But let us not forget, we are our number one hater, we shine at hating ourselves because we know that love is too much effort.
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