When will I learn?

I thought I have learnt my lesson, I thought I would never repeat my mistakes, I trusted myself, I thought I matured, I thought I gained the ability to detach myself from expectations, but I was wrong.
It only comes and slaps you in the face once you believe too much in yourself, what kind of paradox is that? 
And this got me thinking, when will I learn? When will I learn that people are not here to be trusted? What type of hardship I must go throught to learn that? When will I stop expecting that much from total strangers, people who lost the meaning of friendship? 
When will I stop blaming and hating myself after every slight change of behavior, after every cold reply or small talk? When will I stop asking myself what have I done wrong? 
Maybe I am just too self centred to see the whole world and what's going on in people's life, but who isn't selfish? No matter how hard humans try, we all remain the most selfish creatures in the whole universe, and it's fine, if we don't think about ourselves who would? 
I needed and I will always need to feel special in someone's eyes, to be treated differentely, bring that little glimmer in their eyes, because that feeds my ego, it awfully nourrishes my selfishness, and makes me obtain that stupid validation that everyone seeks. 
I thought my solitude made me a bigger person, wiser, more aware of my instincts and my dark side, but it's fruitless, my monsters will always get over me, and I simply need to cope with them, make some sort of a deal, so that everyone can live in peace....