My relationship with religion is like an infinite roller coaster ride. Sometimes I am up to the skies and sometimes it gets very low. And I grew myself to the idea that faith will never be a constant phenomenon, like any other relationship, it needs to be nourished and maintained.
I am from a conservative family; as I grow up, religious duties were an obligation I had to follow like any other parental order. The 2 only ways for me to obtain the pride of my parents were studies and religion.
But as I get older and less intellectually dependent, I realized two fundamental things: first, I am so blessed to be raised among a religious family, and second, is it wrong not to feel fulfilled with this religion? Is it normal to have doubts from time to time? or should I just stop using my brain and follow blindly?
This kind of confusion and struggle you start to experience with yourself, once you matured up a little bit and your mind becomes more open to all sort of ideas you couldn't think of when you were younger.
And now, reaching this age, I started thinking to myself, was it a better way for my parents to inculcate religion into our daily lives, isn't the moral and spiritual part more important than the "do's and don't's" part?
I think what bothered me and what will bother me for a long period of time, is how religious society, no matter the religion, emphasizes on things and decides to ignore other aspects that are as important as praying five times a day.
The religion we follow now is custom made, tailored to society needs. We got used to gossiping behind people's back, yelling, cursing, and still we somehow manage to get so offended when we see someone drinking, eating during Ramadan, or dressing up a bit too tight.
The first thing we tell our girls is to cover their hair before teaching them any kind of basic moral values. Because of course, physical appearances get more attention and a better care.
The only way we motivate our kids to pray is through punishment, reminding them of hell and how aggressively and unmercifully they will get burned up alive if they refused to obey.
It is tremendously saddening to see that religion didn't succeed to purify our core from its roots, and it only cleaned the superficial layers of ourselves.
I may sound like I am blaming religion or society, but in fact I am blaming none of them. A series of events, from brainwashing people to infusing cultural beliefs with religion, led us to this reality.
I wish my elders took some time to explain to me the mental benefits of meditation and how empowering it is to the soul, I wish I have heard the rewards before the punishment,I wish I had imagined heaven before hell, I wish I have received more encouragement than judgment, and I simply wish for the day that religion will brings us together and not tears us apart.
In the end, I would like to mention that I have succeeded to structure my relationship with religion afar from what society wants me to believe, and I am very grateful for this faith, a faith that keeps my principals high and shown, a faith that surrounds me with peace and self-acceptance, a faith that helps me to be a better human being. And I think the religion that doesn't allow you to feel this way is more damaging than beneficial.
Religion is before anything else a spiritual bond that links you vertically (not horizontally) to your personal idea of a higher power, it is everyone's duty to protect that bond and no let it be influenced.
